


love, xx ー i. trial & punishment

by b0kuto



Series: love, xx ー a letter pile [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional, F/M, Forbidden Love, Gen, from iwaizumi's pov, guard & princess, posting sad stuff again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24295852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b0kuto/pseuds/b0kuto
Summary: 「love, xx - a letter pile」a collection of short stories inspired by letters exchanged between lovers, friends, and families.01. trial & punishment❝ i want to run away to be alone with my feelings for you. ❞—Anaïs Nin to Henry Miller, September 1932❝ i shall spend the rest of my life missing you, as your royal subject. ❞—Iwaizumi Hajime, date unknown
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Reader, Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader, Iwaizumi Hajime/You
Series: love, xx ー a letter pile [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753975
Kudos: 29





	love, xx ー i. trial & punishment

_❝ i want to run away to be alone with my feelings for you. ❞  
—Anaïs Nin to Henry Miller, September 1932_

_your royal highness,_

tonight is my last shift here, at this royal residence. i am being transferred to the king’s guard, an honor i have pledged to protect. i dare not disturb your rest, so i will be saying my farewell in this letter. penning down my farewell would be less painful for me too, i must admit my selfishness.

it was six years ago when i first met you here. i was a lowly guard, you were an untouchable royal to which i am devoted. i had the pleasure to be your personal escort, but honestly, i panicked. i did not know what to do when you refused to open your door when i had to escort you to meet your suitors; i did not know whether to stop you or help you when you climbed up the tree to sketch the horizon, colored by the flaming sunset; i did not know how to even _breathe_ when you held my hand, teaching me how to write. thankfully for those writing lessons, i can say a proper goodbye here.

when i received my reallocation, i was angry. angry that the only color in my life would be taken away. but, i realized this was my chance to run away.

you may not know this, but you had always put me under excruciating pain. my heart would swell whenever your laughter chimed. those nights where you snugged me into your room to read stories to me, i had to repent for my sinful thoughts racing through my mind. every time i escorted you to meet a suitor, my nails would dig into the flesh of my palms until the pain in my heart eased as blood dripped down my fists. i am a puppet, and you are the master. **_i want to run away, to be alone with my feelings for you_**. because these feelings consumed me, so much so that i was afraid i would tarnish your purity, or shatter your fragile body, or worst, be hated by you.

my peasant heart did not weigh much, but now it carries a crushing weight ーmy longing for you. your existence in my life had turned even my most mundane moments into something poetic and beautiful. for six years, i was put on _**trial**_. to be your friend, i had to betray the code of conduct of guards. but to be your guard, i had to betray the callings of my heart. and now, the jury had made its decision - i shall be punished for wanting to have you as my own. 

i shall spend the rest of my life missing you, as your royal subject.

love,

iwaizumi hajime

**Author's Note:**

> i have a huge collection of quotes that came from letters. some of them still haunt me with their poignant beauty and emotions. so i decided to use them as prompts & create these letters.   
> since the characters will be writing the letters, i think it can reflect my own analysis of them too. the kind of thoughts, insecurity, approach/values they have.   
> if you are looking forward to the other letters, leave some kudos hehe! ♡ so i will be motivated to stay up until 9am again to write. the stories will get more & more sad tbh. I'm just an emo mESS!!!!


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